One thing I’ve found is that it’s hard for friends to understand just how utterly irrational depression is. Being sad because something bad happened isn’t depression. Being tired because you haven’t been sleeping well isn’t depression. Or maybe the idea of being unmotivated because you are underappreciated, that also isn’t depression.

Yes, bad things happening, poor sleep, and underappreciation can trigger or contribute to depression. What scares me the most when we oversimplify depression, and try to explain it away. Depression is as nuanced as it is awful.

I remember reading some time ago that people who have a realistic world view, will be depressed sooner or later. So I guess depressed people, before they are depressed they must be quite pragmatic and smart people, which then inevitably leads to seeing how wrong things are. I often that it would be much easier for me to be dumber. Emphasis on the dumber- I already am, but I’d like to be less aware of how broken things are, less sensitive to the world’s contradictions, less burdened by the weight of knowing just how much is out of my control. I’d like just to be happy and thinking that everything is and will be alright. I wouldn’t need to worry, care, and what will happen will happen and I couldn’t personally affect it in any way.